Saturday, October 11, 2014

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones: 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror - Day 6


 People say that the found-footage genre has overstayed its welcome, and...they'd be right. These films are incredibly cheap to make, and with the amount of stupidity that comes from a good majority of them, it's pretty easy to see why it doesn't work. And it couldn't be anymore true than with the “Paranormal Activity” franchise.

The first film was release independently at festivals, and garnered huge acclaim really fast, as one of the scariest films of the last few years, building up suspense and tension in a way we haven't quite experienced. While I don't fully agree with people on that, I can understand why it got praised as much as it did. The second film was made, right after the first one's success, and has been judged as either being better or worse than its predecessor. I just think it's about the same, with some slight improvements, but also giving out some wooden acting. Same can be said for the third film.

The fourth film, on the other hand, subjected itself to cheap advertising, even worse characters, and an obnoxious amount of stupidity that makes my brain hurt. Not only did I consider it the worst of the franchise, but also the worst found-footage film I have witnessed...then this year started to role around, and we got “Earth to Echo,” which I already discussed, but one that came close was the newest installment of this series and “supposed” spin-off, “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones.” Or as I'm calling it: “Jump-scare Home Video: The Latino Cut.”

In this film, we got a couple of Hispanic friends, who go and check out the apartment of their neighbor, after she's carried off in an ambulance. When they investigate their room, one of them soon starts having supernatural things happen to him, as he's now able to float as he falls, and gain super strength. But wouldn't you know, it's all the work of a demon.

While it isn't as bad as “Paranormal Activity 4,” it doesn't help the fact that this film is completely derived of anything good. First, the film is absolutely boring and uninteresting, to where I almost fell asleep. Didn't help, since this film is jam-packed with jump-scare after jump-scare, because god forbid we let a horror film in this day and age have suspense and atmosphere, instead of jump-scares. The acting in the film is also atrocious, much like...well, most found-footage movies, because you have to really ask, why would people be filming this stuff instead of calling someone for help. I know it's suppose to be a horror film, but there's a limit!

This was the first film that came in theaters this year, which still keeps with the tradition that January films that come out this year tend to suck. Last year was “Texas Chainsaw 3D,” the year before was “The Devil Inside,” before that was “Season of the Witch,” and now we have this one. And in all honesty, I would rather watch any of those films than ever watch this crap ever again. Needless to say, this year had possibly the worst January for movies.

Now, the reason I said this was a “supposed” spin-off, was because the film makers claimed that this would have no interaction with the real “Paranormal” series. If that's the case, then what the fuck was the point of that ending?! An ending of which, I will now spoil, so be warned.

At the end of the film, the best friend tries to hunt down his possessed friend, who has now gathered an army. When he finds an old house, he sees the closet door from the third film, in which he enters and suddenly is in the ending of the first film. I'm not kidding, he sees the possessed Kate walking down into the kitchen, he asks for help, Katie screams for Micah, Micah's killed, and the best friend runs away, only to be jump-scared to death.

Okay, just going to clarify: NO CONNECTION MY ASS!

Overall, “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones” is flat out BULLSHIT. Sadly, since it was made on a low budget, it still made money. Which means “Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension” is slated for next March. After sitting through this, I'm jumping on the band-wagon for this to end.


Rating: 1/10

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