I, Frankenstein: 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror - Day 10

 Mary Shelly's “Frankenstein” is one of the most recognized novels of all time, and remains one of the iconic horror stories. The tale of a mad scientist who gives life to a monster of his own creation has influenced the world since its release. It gained further recognition, curtsy of Universal Studios, with the 1931 film, starring Boris Karloff as the monster. This version of “Frankenstein” is the one people think of most, and has since had a big impact on pop culture and horror history. The success of this film, along with the 1931 “Dracula” starring Bela Lugosi, had launched Universal into their Golden Age of horror films, with one iconic film after the other.

Many other adaptations of “Frankenstein” have been done afterwards, including one directed by Kenneth Branaugh and starring Robert deNiro as the monster, and another one coming out next year featuring Daniel Radcliffe, but none have quite had the same impact as the original...then we have “I, Frankenstein,” based on a graphic novel, based on the book...and it is one of the dumbest films I have ever seen.

In “I, Frankenstein,” the monster, who is called Adam Frankenstein, is now in modern times, as he teams up with a tribe of gargoyles, going up against a scientist played by Bill Nighy and his army of demons which he plans to raise and conquer the world, or some shit like that. This movie is so stupid that it's hard to comply what the hell is going on.

That's the main problem I have with this movie, is the story doesn't seem to work. It is just a messy story that got lazily directed, which makes sense, since it was written and directed by Stuart Beattie. For those who don't now, Beattie is best known for writing for films like “Pirates of the Caribbean” and “Collateral,” but also wrote shit like “Punisher: War Zone,” “Australia,” and “Tomorrow When the War Began,” which he also directed. This film was his second directed film, and it shows. Not only is the story lame, but the CGI is just so overdone, and the action scenes are...meh. I will at least give credit for not being shaky cam action scenes, but that's not saying much.

Acting wise, it's just as bad. The only two good performances in the entire film come from Aaron Eckhart and Bill Nighy. Eckhart as Frankenstein's monster, who is now called “Adam Frankenstein,” does try to make this work and is clearly trying his best, especially when he's doing his own stunts. However, the make up on him is just...lazy. He doesn't look like he was built from different dead body parts, he just looks like he just got scars all over him. That's not a monster! I will give credit that he did try giving SOME reason as to why he's called Frankenstein, making it his last name like his creator, but that's all I can give. While I don't quite like Bill Nighy's character, I'll also give him credit for trying, as opposed to the rest of the cast, ESPECIALLY Jai Courtney who was AWFUL in this movie.

This film was produced by Tom Rosenberg and Gary Lucchesi, the same duo that produced the first two “Underworld” movies, and later produced the sequels solo (Rosenberg produced “Rise of the Lycans,” and Lucchesi had produced “Awakenings”). It was said that they were planning to do a crossover of “Underworld” and this film, but due to this film barely making its budget back AND it being panned by critics, I doubt such a thing will ever happen.

With this whole war against gargoyles and demons, it makes me ask one thing: where the hell is my “Gargoyles” movie? Seriously, we have the capabilities to make a film based on the Disney animated show, so where is it? I know there's a rumor going around that Kevin Fiege may be producing one, but I won't believe it until I see it!

Overall, “I, Frankenstein” was just a lousy excuse of a movie. The story is all over the place, the direction is blah, and the acting is terrible aside from Eckhart and Nighy.

Rating: 3/10

Well, this is a bummer. Halloween's almost here, and the recent revival of a classic Universal monster wasn't that good. Can't I get one film that does an icon justice, at least in a fun way?

…That could work.

Next Time: Dracula Untold