Annihilation - 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror Day 9 (After Halloween Specials)

In 2015, writer/director Alex Garland delivered one of the most intriguing sci-fi films ever put on screen, Ex Machina. While it wasn’t something that I would go back and call one of my favorites, I admire how Garland crafted such a film that was made to spark up conversation about artificial intelligence, and I do get why people love it. It isn’t that often that you get films that actually challenge you, especially sci-fi films in this day and age. From the setting, to Alicia Vikander’s near-flawless performance as Ava (should have gotten an Oscar for THAT), it definitely feels like a film that will be remembered as a classic.

So while I may not be the biggest fan of Garland’s work, he has become someone I’m intrigued to see more of in future works. Annihilation was another one of those films that peaked my interest, both in the way it was marketed, but also due because this was another film that became subject to whitewashing controversy. It turns out the main character in the books that Natalie Portman portrays, is supposed to be Asian. In Garland’s defense, the first book didn’t make mention of race with any of the characters, and plus, the script was already finished before the second book even came out. That, and the author of the book, Jeff VanderMeer, has admitted to discussing the matter with Garland, addressing this is more of what was going through his head as a filmmaker. So in other words, we have another “Hermione Situation”, folks; at this point, I’m just focusing on the movie as a movie.

When the military blocks off an area coated and broken off by a translucent barrier, called “The Shimmer,” a group of scientists are gathered and sent in to investigate. Upon entering, we have encounters with mutated creatures and entities that you can’t describe, all while questioning the reality that surrounds them. Much like his previous work, Annihilation manages to be another intriguing sci-fi film that has something worth talking about, especially revolving around the themes of purpose and defining good vs evil.

Where I feel this film succeeds is in the visuals and atmosphere; hats off to Rob Hardy for his cinematography. The imagery in the film is also stunning to say the least; the Shimmer truly is a place that never feels right, but Garland truly. With most of the scenery being this beautiful forest, it eases you in far enough to let your guard down to the mutant creature attacks, which are effectively scary. Easily the scariest moment in the whole movie is the second bear encounter; dealing with a grizzly is one thing, but a faceless bear that has a roar imitating human screams, is the most unsettling thing you could imagine.

Natalie Portman does a great job as Lena, the scientist joining board to help her husband, and I love the chemistry that she shares with the rest of the cast; just because she wasn’t the accurate race, doesn’t take away from what is still a strong performance. Oscar Isaac and Jennifer Jason Leigh also do well, working off of Portman very nicely, whether it’d be in a distorted mental state or in a moment of panic of what to do.

As for the ending, I feel like there is quite a lot of interpretation to make, but I don’t want to go into too much detail from here. You truly need to go and see this with as little detail as possible, because the discovery to me is what made this film the most enjoyable.

Overall, Annihilation is one of the most intriguing films this year, and I highly recommend checking it out.. It’s a shame that Paramount didn’t have much faith in this film, dumping it onto Netflix for international audiences; but regardless, Annihilation is definitely a sci-fi fantasy that you should not skip out on.

Rating: A

Blumhouse's Truth or Dare - 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror Day 8 (After Halloween Specials)

It’s no secret that Jason Blum has taken the mantle of the modern day Roger Corman; make a profit on the cheapest shit you can, all while shining the light on newcomers. While his company, Blumhouse, has been excelling at delivering award worthy content, from Whiplash to Get Out, as well as success this year with Upgrade and BlacKkKlansman, we still haven’t forgotten where the roots still lie: low-budget horror movies.

So of their treasure trove of scares, we were given another Purge, Unfriended, and Insidious (with another Happy Death Day coming Valentine’s Day), and then it brings us Truth or Dare...they made a movie about a game of Truth or Dare...THEY SPENT. THREE AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS. ON A MOVIE ABOUT-okay, you get the point.

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare is a horror film about a group of teens who get cursed by a demon after playing Truth or Dare in an abandoned Mexican church. Now they have to either play the game, or the demon will make Final Destination casualties out of them. Why does it make them play it? To expose their secrets or kill them. Why? No one knows, nor do I bother to care at this point.

The cast in the film does try to make it work, but the material makes them look awful; even from experienced actors like Lucy Hale, Tyler Posey, and Hayden Szeto, all of whom are young actors that I know are better than this. In fact, the only actor that felt like emoting at all ends up dead, nearly in the first half hour. Although, considering this film casted Aurora Perrineau from Jem & the Holograms, I probably should have noted to lower my expectations.

This film was directed by Jeff Wadlow, the director of Cry Wolf and Kick Ass 2; once again, he proves himself to be a less competent filmmaker. Even though this film tries so desperately hard to be the next Final Destination  of sorts, it just comes off as nerve biting as watching a guy go on TV, say he’s going to do this one thing and prepare for the inevitable, only to then brush it aside for no other reason than attention (just like our idiot president).

But you want to know what the most baffling thing about this is? The script and concept were co-written by Michael Raisz, the guy who did the English dub of Matt from Digimon: Adventure; and this was the film to put him on the map as a screenwriter? Well, considering how poorly Shadowhunters turned out, you really messed up, bud. I don’t know if it was the other three writers, especially since Wadlow was one when he signed on to direct, but one thing’s for sure is that this was not the best draft to go with.

*SPOILER ALERT FOR THE ENDING*

At the end of this movie, the main girl figures out a way to get them out of the game, but it ultimately doesn’t work. They rope the demon into the game for a turn, but are unable to do anything else about it. So do they just accept whatever fate comes to them? NOPE! They simply upload a video onto YouTube, to now rope whoever watched the video to be roped into the game as well...yeah...we literally got a “fuck the world, everyone suffer with me” kind of ending...that will ultimately lead to a sequel, that I hope never happens (I’ve already got to deal with Happy Death Day 2U next February).

*SPOILER ALERT ENDS*

Overall, if you’re looking for a new kind of horror film to check out, this is NOT the one you’re looking for. The only way I would recommend you watch this is to get some friends, grab a few beers or joints (depending on where you live), and have fun riffing this shit a new one. Out of all the films to come from Blumhouse, or at least in terms of their horror films, this one definitely makes the the bottom ten.

Rating: F

A Quiet Place - 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror Day 7 (After Halloween Specials)

A Quiet Place takes place in the not-too-distant future, in which most of humanity is wiped out, and we focus on one surviving family. Their tactics involve staying as quiet as possible, in order to avoid the creatures that have acute hearing. Things become more complicated for them, as they are soon expecting a baby that will become a target too.

In 2016, Michael Bay’s gave us the war film, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, starring John Krasinski; what we all thought was going to be another tasteless retelling of history, ended up becoming one of the most intense, nail-biting, and exhausting war films I had ever seen. I was impressed by both Bay’s dedication and development he gave to these people, making us truly care for them, and seeing John Krasinski in a role like this was impressive. While it may not have been among my favorites of that year, it was still an impressive feat to unhold and give credit where it’s due. I bring this up, because after watching A Quiet Place, I can gladly declare Krasinski as Michael Bay’s good luck charm.

Originally the film was intended to be an installment of the Cloverfield franchise, but that idea was scrapped nearly the second Krasinski signed on, not only as the star, but as the director with additional re-writes; you can still see the intention with the design of the creatures, looking like a mix between the lickers from Resident Evil and the demogorgan from Stranger Things. If it did end up becoming a Cloverfield movie, it would have been a decent fit, especially coming off of Netflix’s The Cloverfield Paradox; with having the survival instinct to rely on silence, you get completely immersed in the dreading atmosphere that builds, wondering when there’s going to be some kind noise to ruin it.

Krasinski and Emily Blunt both give such captivating performances; being married in real life and in the movie, you really sense the stressful nature of keeping their family alive, even at the risk of losing theirs. Blunt, in particular, portraying a pregnant mother who goes through nearly the absolute worst struggle in the entire film, it made us truly feel the need for them to see daylight at least one last time.

Noah Jupe and Millicent Simmonds are also great as the kids, especially Simmonds who is deaf in real life, so the use of sign language does feel more mandatory than as a gimmick. With how diverse awards season has been slowly getting at, and with Paramount shooting all four of the actors for an Oscar, I’m willing to bet Blunt and Simmonds would be the most deserving of nominations; that, and John Krasinski for Best Director.

Some people have discussed the ending, being split on it either due to possible sequel begging; but to be honest, I don’t really see this getting a sequel, because I’m not sure what else there is to accomplish with the surviving characters. I take the ending as a sort of last stand move, than a lead up to a sequel; unless they do an anthology series, I think it might be best to leave this alone and give John Krasinski some new ideas to tweak with.

Overall, A Quiet Place is both a great horror film, and one of the best directed movies I’ve seen this year. It’s definitely a refreshing take on the genre, and I would proudly put Krasinski up with there with Jordan Peele, among the list of B-list comedy actors turned top class horror film makers. The suspense is great, the concept works, the acting is fantastic (especially from the kids); don’t miss this if you have yet to see it.

Rating: A+

A Simple Favor - 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror Day 6 (After Halloween Specials)

After the controversial remake of Ghostbusters bombed in 2016, it seemed as though the reception had really taken a toll on the writer/director, Paul Feig; reading through the e-mails from the Sony Hacking, it’s clear to understand that this was a contractual obligation to satisfy Amy Pascal, the former CEO turned producer who put him on the task. Feig clearly didn’t want to do the movie from the beginning, and rewatching it, you can tell his heart was just not in the right place; from the jokes, to the performances, the behind the scenes rumors, the special effects...had I reviewed the movie now, I wouldn’t have been as nice as I was then, but mostly just to vent my frustration with Pascal and how poorly she’s been handling things.

It made it look as though the director was losing his touch, but now Feig has made the same career move as John Krasinski and Jordan Peele: take a shot at doing horror/thriller. This brings us to his newest film, A Simple Favor. Based on the book by Darcy Bell, and adapted by Jessica Sharzer, A Simple Favor follows Stephanie, a widowed mother who befriends Emily, a business woman who suddenly goes missing. While she’s gone, Stephanie tries to figure out if she truly is gone, or if this is something much more elaborate.

A Simple Favor is one of those films that I was happy was given the kind of marketing it needed, because it is as much a guessing game as the trailers make it look. The best way to describe it, is that it's like if Gone Girl were done as a comedy, but that's as far as I can go without spoilers. Feig truly stepped out of his comfort zone; there is never a moment where the two tones of comedy and suspense feel out of place, and it feels like a natural situation that feels like would come about in this manner. Not only that, but the soundtrack being filled with French songs that sound both soothing and nerve racking at the same time, was a very fitting choice.

Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively are fantastic, playing opposite each other, giving a representation of their different social classes and how their particular human connectivity differs; with Kendrick’s naivety as a mother with a blog and Lively’s cryptic, but confidently suspicious business woman attitude, you always feel like there’s something being planned that you’re waiting for Kendrick to pick up, but you feel just as wrapped up as she is. I also love how even though Lively does disappear in the film, it feels like her presence is to that of Tyler Durant’s from Fight Club, like she’s there, but we’re not quite there noticing it. Normally, it’d be a longshot to say, but after last year’s inclusive choices possibly expanding, maybe we’ll expect Lively to come about in Oscar conversations.

Henry Golding does great as the husband with being a guy simply caught up in the middle of this chaos. I already noticed him gain attention with Crazy Rich Asians, but here he truly got to show off a little more of his dramatic side. Heck, I even enjoyed the two kid actors that played the sons; while I could tell it’s the typical “child performance,” the way the cast handles it makes it all the more hilarious.

If there was a downside, I would say it would have to be the ending; I don’t want to give it away out of fear of spoilers, but let’s just say there were some cliches present that I felt was done a little bit too standard. Not bad, just felt pretty basic for a film that was taking some risky turns.

If you get the chance to see this, definitely give A Simple Favor a moment of your time. With it’s intriguing mystery, it’s irresistible characters, a mystery that builds with interest, and dialogue and direction that blend comedy and thrills together, it’s a definitive return to glory for Paul Feig.

Rating: B+

Bad Times at the El Royale - 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror Day 5 (After Halloween Specials)

After Chris Hemsworth became a box office draw with the first Thor movie, it led to the eventual release of one of his earlier finished roles, in Drew Goddard’s The Cabin in the Woods. It was one of the earliest examples of a movie that I didn’t watch the trailers for, so my experience was exactly what the film was aiming for, and made for one of the most unique horror films of the decade. Afterwards, he went on to get an Oscar nomination for adapting The Martian to script. Goddard has proven with his work with Joss Whedon that he has a similar approach to character interactions and unique high-concepts; heck, he was even Sony’s top choice for The Sinister Six movie, and is currently developing the upcoming X-Force movie. As you could imagine, hearing his name has become one to truly spark interest at almost anything he does at this point.

That’s when we check into his newest flick, Bad Times at the El Royale; the film takes place at a bi-state hotel in the late-60’s, and we follow the strangers with secrets premise, involving criminals and a crazy cult lurking not too far. In other words, think sort of Identity (2003) if it was helmed by Tarantino.

This movie is like Drew Goddard’s love letter to the 60’s, and he makes sure to cover nearly every aspect of it in this kind of film; the politics, the food, the music, the religiously cultural status, the underlying layers of corruption and evil brewing about, and, of course, Jon Hamm. There’s just this nostalgic atmosphere in how the film is portrayed, both in its style and its dialogue; it definitely feels like a film that was pulled out from the beginnings of the New Hollywood Era.

Much like The Hateful Eight, each of the characters all have something that you eventually discover about them, and it’ll either have you feel sick to your stomach or having you feel empathy for someone not all good. And what I love most about them, is just hearing them kick back and just shoot the shit with each other, talking about stuff that makes you feel like you’re part of the conversation. It also helps, when you’ve got an excellent cast to perform to it; Jeff Bridges as a bank robbing priest, Cynthia Erivo as a lounge singer looking for ends meet, John Hamm as a door-to-door salesman, Chris Hemsworth as a Charles Manson-esque cult leader, Cailee Spaeny as one of Hemsworth’s brainwashed followers, Lewis Pullman as the bellboy with secrets, and even Dakota Johnson (Fifty Shades of Grey) proved she could give a good performance.

*SPOILERS*

The biggest complaint that I’ve heard is that the film does take its time to pick up in certain places; it makes sense, considering some scenes will end up repeating just from a different character’s perspective, and not everyone can adapt to that kind of film making. The runtime also becomes more noticeable, considering it takes until the third act for Hemsworth’s character to show up, and he was heavily advertised.

*END OF SPOILERS*

Overall, if you have a 60’s craving you need to fix, I highly recommend you check out (or IN, in this case) Bad Times at the El Royale; I would go into more detail, but with how there’s a lot of mystery to unfold, a good amount of surprise, a decent balance of violence, and dialogue and characters you’ll want to be around with for, I think the less I say the better for you to enjoy. If you missed your chance to see it in theatres, don’t miss out on it when it comes out on blu-ray.

Rating: A

Top 10 Horror Remakes - 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror Day 4 (After Halloween Specials)

So as you may have noticed, I have fallen quite behind as of late, and only got three reviews out for October. Sorry about that, I've just been dealing with a lot of personal stuff going on in life, either having to do with school or tragedy striking when you least expect it...point is, while Halloween may have passed, and while I did get you guys a review on Halloween day, I feel like I need to make it up to you somehow. What I've decided is that I'm going to finish up the 13 Nerdy Nights of Horror, as well as do something special for you guys during December. Not going to say what it is, but I am promising something for you.

But to hold you guys over for the time being, I felt like it was time to circle over to a couple topics that I have been eager to talk about, mostly with films in the horror genre. While this decade has seen success with fresh new IPs to build cults around, we mustn't forget the times when creators revisited previous works. Remakes of horror films have dated back as far as even the 1930's, where some see the potential that a film had untapped, and try to revitalize it into a new light to achieve that missing piece. Whether they're retellings of a monster in a book, or the tale of a vampire or some kind, everybody always talks about at least one detail that they always assume would have made the film better; some succeed, others just smell cash. Today, I want to discuss what I believe to be the best reimaginings of any horror film, ones that manage to both honor the original, but at the same time have elements that make the film seem necessary and have something that proves its worth. Some of them, I had discussed within the past decade even.

With that said, let's dive into my Top 10 Horror Remakes:

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#10: The Blob (1988) - The 80’s was an era somewhat similar to the 2000’s. We saw a lot of old b-movies at that time get the remake treatment like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Night of the Living Dead, even Nosferatu got it’s chance at a revival. However, as opposed to the 2000’s where they remade it for the sake of profit, THESE remakes were made to showcase how far we’ve come with special effects, and this film is no exception. While the original 1958 flick, starring Steve McQueen, still remains a classic by being one of the first to monster movies to have teenagers as the main heroes, it still was pretty low budget and cheesy in parts that aren’t as believable as they were back then. The 1988 film, directed by Chuck Russell and co-written by Frank Darabont, took the main premise components that worked, all while cranking the gore up to beyond recognition. This is one of the first films that introduced me to the body horror genre, and just how disgustingly disturbing visual effects can get, something Russell was all too familiar with after coming off of Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors. But effects are one thing, what about the story? In the original, the blob was simply an alien life form that crashes on Earth, but the remake turns it into a biological government weapon gone wrong; it adds this conspiracy theory element to it, not knowing who's to say where the blob really came from, but it plays into the paranoia that was still present during that time period. Not only that, but the characters that interact in the film do try to take more action into their hands, as opposed to trying to solve it and then calling the adults. And it features some prominent actors like Shawnee Smith, Kevin Dillion, Jeffry DuMann, Paul McCrane, and even the late-great comedy teacher: Del Close. Although, I will admit, the film does have some issues; with it being also in the era of the slasher films, a couple kills can get a little hokey, along with the dialogue and acting being pretty bad at times. It’s understandable why people would prefer the original, but they still respect this movie as worthy remake. Whichever one you prefer, this is one that’ll consume your attention in someway.

#9: Cape Fear (1991) - While Martin Scorsese isn’t the first name that comes to mind when it comes to remakes, a lot of people forget that he has had a hand at some major ones; hell, the film that won him an Oscar, The Departed, was a remake of a foreign film. However, Cape Fear is not only another strong example, but is often one of the most overlooked. After spending a near decade in prison, Max Cady tracks down and antagonizes the Bowden family, whom he discovered the dad defending his case buried evidence that could of reduced his sentence. Being their 7th collaboration together, the best part is easily Robert De Niro as Cady; he is just chewing the scenery in almost every moment he’s on screen, being such a malicious ass. He doesn’t come off as a common murderous nutcase that we would normally stereotype, but as a calculative strategist that takes his time to study his enemies weaknesses and use his strengths against him at almost every angle by studying law in prison; it’s the thrill of the hunt that makes him a thrill to enjoy, even as he’s doing such horrid things to the Bowden family. While this remake does deserve the praise it got, even overshadowing the original almost nearly, you have to give credit that Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum were still just as compelling; so compelling that they brought the two back in different roles, as a nod to the original. Either way, both films are definitely worth the watch; while I say decide for yourself, I’ve made my mind up already.

#8: Fright Night (2011) - As I was discussing earlier, the 2000’s were jam-packed of remakes of movies from the previous remake era, along with remakes of the original films that came out at the time. A lot of them were...underwhelming, to say the least. However, when Craig Gillespie’s remake of the Tom Holland vampire flick was released, it ended up being one of the biggest surprises for me. Much like the original film, Charlie is a high school student who has slight suspicions about his neighbor, Jerry, being a vampire; to fight off this beast, he seeks the help of a celebrity, Peter Vincent, who he thinks might have enough knowledge of dealing with the matter. The idea of having the film take place in Las Vegas is an interesting idea, especially as someone who just moved there at that time; the idea that anybody who works the night shift at a casino or hotel, possibly being a vampire, is the kind of paranoia originality that vampire movies had been lacking for quite a while. Not only that, but the blend of horror and comedy blend in perfectly, and it works intentionally, unlike with the original where it just felt silly. Here, I felt like every joke and scare had a stronger effect. Anton Yelchin and Colin Farrell are a great pair of leads, and I love the chemistry that these two share; that scene with the beer still has me tense up, everytime Farrell has that monologue. I also thought David Tennant’s portrayal of Peter Vincent was a delight to watch, and nearly every line he says had me cracking up; the only downside is that I wish his character was a little less Kris Angel based. I know, it’s Vegas, but come on, we also have Circus Circus, so you could have had him as a Fright Dome designer. Hell, the film was even nice enough to give a cameo to Chris Sarandon, the original Jerry, so that was pretty cool. The film was also released in 3D and, despite me not having seen it myself, I probably would have said it looked neat; however, I can only speculate, as I don’t have a 3D tv and that gimmick seems to be going into hibernation as of late.

#7: The Fly (1986) - You know how Josh Trank made comparisons between his Fant4stic and David Cronenberg? Well, if you watch this film, you’ll get what he was talking about (as well as the best thing you could say about Fant4stic). Jeff Goldblum plays the scientist, Seth Brundle, who is working on a teleportation experiment that could change travel as we know it forever. However, when he conducts the experiment on himself, a fly sneaks in, and the rest of the film is watching Seth slowly become this hideous creature. First off, the acting in this is a lot better than what people give credit for. Jeff Goldblum’s performance as Brundle is probably one of his more underappreciated roles, as you watch him go from a skeptical but ambitious scientist, suddenly gain almost all the things he lacked, only for it to slowly crumble before him is tragic and at times unbearable. It plays off as the true Greek Tragedy that this kind of story could tell. Much like The Blob, this was a remake of a 1958 b-movie, done as a way to showcase how far we can take this premise with the visual effects of that time period. However, unlike The Blob, this movie took a lot more time to really build the looming danger that Brundle was slowly discovering. The film keeps him as the main focus, so when you see the changes begin to happen to him, you’re more concerned about his survival, as opposed to thinking “hey, look how cool these effects are!” much like a few similar films on this list. It did what the original acted as, a metaphor for how fast we were jumping with scientific advancements and how if not careful, we could end up killing ourselves with the very tools we create. If you haven’t seen it, check it out, but be afraid...be very afraid.

#6: House of Wax (1953) - I know most people would associate the Paris Hilton movie as the image of “the remake of House of Wax”, but a lot of people forget that THAT movie is a remake of 1933’s Mystery of the Wax Museum. It’s about a talented sculptor whose work and hands are destroyed in a fire, caused by his jealous and greedy rival. Without his hands, he can’t sculpt wax properly anymore, while at the same time a killer is going around on the loose killing people. Much like Fright Night, this also had a release in 3D, but it’s not quite the same level of quality as today’s Real-D conversions. However, it still has a charming novelty to it, similar to how other horror films in the 80’s were utilizing the gimmick. And though this film wasn’t exactly a critical darling at the time, people have come to realize just how influential and important it was. This was the film that put Vincent Price on the map as one of the next masters of horror, and rightfully so; when he talks about his work as if they’re family, you believe that he’s that passionate about his creation. And when you get to him in his crippled state resorting to the gimmicks he wanted to avoid, it almost feels like a dark foreshadowing of Price’s career, doesn’t it. There’s also a great effect with the killer that I dare won’t spoil if you haven’t seen it. I would have to say, my only complaint would have to be the fire fight scene; I feel like had the film been edited a little differently, making that scene as a flashback in the third act, it probably would have flown better in terms of the mystery part, but that’s just me. Despite it, I absolutely love this scene; seeing the wax figures melt, and seeing the tension on Price’s face as he tries to deal with an ACTUAL fire on set, it really does get your heart racing. Even filmmakers like Tim Burton have talked about how somewhat unsettling yet fascinating watching wax figures melt can actually be.

#5: Carrie (2013) - While not the first Stephen King story to get a theatrical remake, the story of a telekinetic girl who gets back at her bullies is a deeply satisfying concept to get into, especially for the ending. The ‘76 DePalma film stands as debatably the strongest and most effective story from King that was executed so damn well, that no one would ever think to top it...at least, that’s what the general opinion is; the remake of Carrie got a lot of hatred, simply from the trailer along, and some have even called this film pointless. To both those points, I say the opposite. Not only is the remake good, I’d even say it’s better than the original, or at least, more faithful to the book and its original themes discussing misjudgment of others and the dangers of bullying. And with bullying itself becoming worse in our society, it almost makes retelling this story seem a little more important. Social media, digital cameras, and the amplification of exposure to violence have all been attributing factors that help give the film ground, as well as illustrate that while we do try improve from the past, we could still be doing the same mistakes as we did long ago. I did a comparison on this film and the original two years ago for its 40th anniversary, and in there I go into much more detail there, but don’t miss out on this film if you’re looking for something to get you out of your prom night blues...and into your prom night reds, am I right?...

#4: Little Shop of Horrors (1986) - It’s not that often you get to see horror movies remade into musicals, and Little Shop of Horrors does not hold back from it. Based on the Alan Menken and Howard Ashman musical, which in itself was based on a Roger Corman B-movie, the story follows a pushover who gets his job into fame and fortune with a plant, but the plant food is very specific...BLOOD. Before The Producers and Hairspray, this was the defining example of remaking a movie from its stage-play rendition; not only did the songs add so much more charm, but the story, characters, and effects especially were updated nicely. Frank Oz put all of his puppetry skills to the test, and what he gave us was one hell of a memorable film. If you want a reason practical effects still reign supreme, just watch the scene of “Mean Green Mother From Outer Space,” and just try to tell me that it doesn’t look convincing. Again, I’ve talked quite a bit about this film as well, so I’ll try not to go into too much detail; to me, it’s how you bring the musically and the scary together.

#3: IT (2017) - The most recent entry on our list, this movie has everything that makes this as unsettling and at times, terrifying as it should be. Based on only HALF of the novel by Stephen King, we follow the story of a group of kids, called the Loser’s Club, who live in the town of Derry, Maine. One of them, Bill, loses his brother to a demonic creature that comes about every 27 years, and it’s up to him and the rest of the Losers to fight against the fear eating monster, until IT returns again. What makes this remake different is that it’s a remake of a 1990 mini-series starring Tim Curry as Pennywise the Dancing Clown, one of the many forms of IT. And while it is a flawed low-budget mini-series, there’s still a lot of nostalgia that people have with it; so the idea of remaking it wasn’t about making it better, but whether it would be able to have an identity that would be as defining as its predecessor. Thankfully, if the box office has told us otherwise. While the biggest change was bringing the kids story to the late-80’s instead of the late 50’s, the exchanges between the characters is so good, that it doesn’t feel like anything’s different about it. And by telling the childhood story in more linear narrative, as opposed to flashbacking constantly, you get to know these kids and get to care about each of their dilemmas, so when the danger does strike at them, you do feel as scared as they do. I also love what they did with Pennywise, blending elements of practical makeup and CGI so well, that it makes it all the more unsettling when he reveals the dead-lights; and Bill Skarsgard is unquestionably phenomenal, so good to have an iconic horror villian revamped in a fresh way. Needless to say, I’m anticipating part 2, and can’t wait to see what they bring.

#2: Evil Dead (2013) - When you hear the announcement that a remake of your favorite horror film is coming out on your birthday, in a time when good horror remakes seemed rare, it’s easy to imagine my worry. Luckily, Fede Alvarez managed to not only relieve my worries, but he even got the approval of the trio behind the original to start with, and, dare I say, made it better. Unlike the original film, where it was teenagers going to an old cabin to have sex, the remake has it be more of a rehabilitation method for one of the characters; that actually makes the motive of staying at an old cabin seem more reasonable, as you would then have the deadites she sees play more off like withdrawals. And it’s fixing little holes in the writing, as well as the amplified dedication to use practical effects, that you feel this was made out of love for the original film in particular, but at the same time not afraid to highlight a few of the campier quirks the series is known for. Not only that, but the biggest stand out performance is the surviving champ. While the character of Ash Williams may not be in the film, aside from a post-credits wink to the audience, it was actually kind of refreshing to see the sister, Mia Allen, have a date with chainsawing deadites; this was also the role that introduced me to Jane Levy, and since then she’s been one of my new favorite horror actresses, later appearing in Don’t Breathe and Castle Rock. It’s a shame that we didn’t get to see more of Mia’s character later on in the franchise, because I would have loved to have seen her on Ash Vs. Evil Dead in some form. This is another one I’ve talked about quite a bit in my review of it back in 2013, as well as in my Evil Dead retrospect, but if you’re looking for a gloriously gory time, rev your chainsaws and chop away.

#1: The Thing (1982) - The film that set the standard for horror remakes for the rest of time, this masterpiece from John Carpenter has been implanted in pop culture, just like the creature would to any of our characters. However, what makes this film differ from the original, is that it does something that not many other horror films did at the time, and that was make sort of a sequel/remake to the original. Both the original and remake are loosely based on the John W. Campbell Jr. novel Who Goes There?, but what’s unique about them is that the Christian Nyby film, which Carpenter was a fan of, was only an adaptation of the first half of the book and had a completely different kind of alien, whereas the Carpenter film covers most of the latter half and a bit more. It takes its time to build up the suspense and allow us to get familiar with the characters, so once you do see them slowly get taken in by the creature; and we see it isn’t just humans, but even animals, making the sequence and situation more dire. Not to mention, you have powerhouse actors like Kurt Russell and Keith David as the leads, how could you not get any more badass? This of course brings us to the special effects, which even by today’s standards look unbelievably good. Even when this film was panned upon original release, people still gave it credit where it was due. With how outlandishly gory and disgusting it got, it coined the phrase from Roger Ebert, “a barf-bag movie.” Personally, I’d take that as a compliment. I also like the fact that the alien doesn’t have a definitive form, and that what it does show is only a glimpse of what it could possibly be. But to me, that’s also the scariest part about it; you never know for sure what it’s going to look like, and the next appearance might be worse than the last. The Thing is truly a masterpiece; the effects are fantastic, the characters are likable, the atmosphere is chilling, the music by Ennio Morricone is one of best, it truly is the #1 Horror movie remake.

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