Aladdin (2019)

Aladdin is the newest live action remake of an animated classic, directed and co-written by Guy Ritchie. This retells the tale of a street urchin, Aladdin (Mena Massoud), who desires to capture the love of Agrabah’s princess, Jasmine (Naomi Scott); from the request of the vizier, Jafar (Marwan Kenzari), he finds a magic lamp that awakens a Genie (Will Smith) that will be able to grant three wishes of Aladdin’s choosing.

While in the past, I’ve had ups and downs about the recent Disney remakes coming out, Aladdin was one I was the most mixed about being done. The original film by Ron Clements and John Musker remains to be one of Disney’s most celebrated films; the brilliant music by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman (whom this was the last film he wrote music for), some of the clever and playful dialogue between characters, and the animation being absolutely lively, especially with the action scenes. Being the 31st animated film by the studio, as well as the first to follow up their BEST PICTURE NOMINEE Beauty and the Beast, a lot was riding on this film living up to that hype in some way. And it did, by becoming the first film Disney made to spawn a franchise afterwards, leading to two more films (albeit direct-to-video) and a tv series that expands on the Arabian Nights lore.

The idea of a remake wasn’t too far fetched, since there was more to expand on, but that didn’t exactly mean it was going to be easy. And going into this, I was hoping that if they played their cards right, this could actually be more beneficial to Disney than they thought...sadly, they had different intentions.

Starting off with the positives, the set design and production look great; Agrabah was not only given a more grounded design, but not too much to where it doesn’t stand out. I also liked how some scenes are actually shot out in the desert, and not just mostly blue screen; and the look of the Cave of Wonders is pretty. Some of the action scenes and cinematography are exciting as well, especially with Aladdin’s maneuvering; you can definitely see where Disney knew Guy Ritchie would do best, when hiring him, because he gets the thief skills down. Unfortunately, that’s mostly I can say that worked.

For the most part, the acting felt very wooden, especially from our main leads. Mena Massoud and Naomi Scott look absolutely bored to be there. Even when they’re reciting the dialogue from the original script, or bringing the new lines to life with the same tone and inflection as Scott Weigner and Linda Larkin, it didn’t seem like their hearts were in it. Naomi Scott was great in the 2017 Power Rangers, and to see this film underutilize her was really frustrating to watch, especially with what they did to Jasmine’s character; on one hand, they made her want to be sultan, but then made her scared of pole vaulting, when the animated version had no problem with that (these remakes keep sacrificing one trait, to emphasize another already there).

The worst of all was Jafar; Marwan Kenzari, I’m sure he did his best, was completely miscast here. The details on him being a thief like Aladdin and bargaining at his level rather than disguise, I thought that was clever, but he played this way too straight forward and too low energy. They even made him dumber by getting bamboozled by nearly EVERYONE in the film; heck, after gaining magic abilities, he doesn’t even use them until minutes after he gets tricked by Jasmine (She jumps off the balcony, and yet he doesn’t stop her?!). His parrot, Iago, has been subdued from the talkative type Gilbert Gottfried played him as, which is either going to relieve people, or annoy them; Iago is actually my favorite villain sidekick, so it was upsetting to see his role downplayed, especially when Alan Tudyk was cast in the role. Come on, at least Luke Evans and Josh Gad had fun with Beauty and the Beast.

A complaint I often hear about the original from critics against it, is that it doesn’t pick up until the Genie comes in, and that was actually my complaint with this movie. One of the biggest concerns had with this movie was with how the Genie would be handled. This was a character created especially for its original actor, the late-great Robin Williams, a comedy legend and master improviser (in fact, that improvisation is actually what cost Disney their chance for a Best Adapted Screenplay nomination), and since then, no one has been able to match his performance; not Dan Castellaneta, not Jim Meskimen (the actor currently voicing him), heck not even Williams when he came back for King of Thieves could recreate that lightning in a bottle. To Will Smith’s credit, he doesn’t try to mimic Williams’s performance the way Castellaneta did; he plays him less like the funny-buddy, and more like his character from Hitch, which does play off nicely with the rest of the film. They also give him a romance with Nasim Pedard as Jasmine’s handmaid, and there are one or two moments are a nice homage to Williams, especially in the beginning where he’s telling the story.

The worst part about this movie is, aside from “Friend Like Me” which was given a surprisingly decent hip-hop flare, all the singing in this movie is garbage; in fact, all I could hear every time someone tried to sing, was the sound of Howard Ashman rolling in his grave. Right from when Will Smith begins “Arabian Nights”, I knew right then something (or someone) was off. I know Will Smith has had a long music career, but rap is a completely different style than Disney Showtunes; not everyone who has a career in music is fit for every genre. This also has a similar problem I had with Beauty and the Beast, where they added a new song or two that completely mess with the pace of the movie. Here, it’s a little worse, because the new song they give Jasmine is completely unnecessary and should have been cut from the film; it doesn’t add anything to her character, doesn’t change anything from the story, and it just makes her come off as bratty (and that song was written by Pasek and Paul).

As much as I do get why Disney went with Guy Ritchie, his quick and grimey style of filmmaking for works like Sherlock Holmes or Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels just didn’t seem to mesh well with this kind of dialogue. The original film’s script was written by Terry Russio and Ted Elliot, who later adapted The Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy directed by Gore Verbinski; in my mind, Verbinski would have been a better fit, since Pirates of the Caribbean had the same kind of fun tale of thieves vibe both films are known for. Ritchie’s style just comes off as too plain, and even when it does try to pop, it feels generic. Not to give away the ending (although, nearly everyone knows how it ends, if you’ve seen the movie or played Kingdom Hearts), but this is my biggest nitpick: of all the remakes Disney could give a sequel to, why give it to the two worst ones Alice in Wonderland and Maleficent, yet drop the ball with this? It’s not like they don’t have the money to pay Will Smith to come back as Genie.

Aladdin isn’t the worst remake Disney’s put out, but it was a bigger disappointment than expected. I wanted this to prove me wrong and be amazing, and it does pick up a bit when Will Smith enters as Genie; but with the lackluster singing, wooden performances, and a story being dragged the whole way through, I just don’t see how I could recommend this to anyone unless you have literally nothing better to do. This is another one of those films, where the more I think about it, the worse it gets.

Rating: D+

Men In Black: International

MIB International is the fourth installment of the Men in Black film series, this time directed by F. Gary Gray, and starring Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth. As a kid, Molly Wright witnesses the MIB wipe her parents' memories, and makes it her mission to join them. As the new Agent M-in training, she’s sent to London to help Agent H take out a threat he dealt with years ago, but never destroyed.

When the first Men in Black came out, it was not only a major hit, but it was one of the most unique films to come out at the time. While it does stray away a little from the comic books it came from, it still manages to be a captivating film with its intriguing concept, stylistic action scenes, and very quotable dialogue (not bad, considering the screenwriter’s last film was The Super Mario Bros. Movie). Not to mention, it was Will Smith’s third successful blockbuster in a row, that propelled him into superstardom, and it spawned an animated series that borrows more from the comics; it was pretty much that generation’s Ghostbusters.

Despite the unlimited possibilities, it felt like the movies didn’t know where else to go themselves, other than recycling elements from the first film. Men in Black II was meh, and while I’m one of those few that really loved Men in Black 3, especially since it got Will Smith out of an acting hiatus, even I can admit it does repeat elements. Barry Sonnenfield was the director for all three of these films, and while I applaud them for being consistent with directors, after seeing the versatility that the MCU has had, it does make me wish someone else was given a shot at this. My wish was partially granted, in the form of two in-universe spin-offs: One of them being a now-cancelled crossover with Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill’s 21 Jump Street films...that was going to be a thing; the other was a soft reboot/sequel with a female lead (because that worked SO WELL with audiences when Amy Pascal’s Ghostbusters did that, and that too had Chris Hemsworth as a dopey hunk).

While MIB International has more polish and finished feeling to it, this movie ended up having a lot of the same problems I had with Dark Phoenix, in that it’s another sequel that’s just going through the motions without any heart behind it. It isn’t as bad as Dark Phoenix, but it’s hard not to bring up comparisons, being that it’s another comic book movie with a female lead and rips off Invasion of the Body Snatchers (the third one this year, no less). What’s interesting was that Dark Phoenix had reshoots because the aliens were too similar to Captain Marvel, yet someone forgot to tell Sony about that with their film. And there is a twist villain, but you can already find out in the first five minutes of the movie (were you even trying, editor?).

Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth do their best as M and H, but they hardly have any chemistry. Thompson is this MIB fangirl that claims to be a smart, strong, and capable protagonist, but they don’t give her anything to showcase that, or have anything new to bring; just because you have an actress that can kick ass and say politically correct things, doesn’t mean you can’t make her at least somewhat interesting. Chris Hemsworth, like I said, was just playing another dopey hunk; he’s not as dumb as he was in Ghostbusters, but when he throws quips, he feels like he’s trying to be the Will Smith funny man and just comes off as obnoxious. With how he’s been playing this persona throughout most of his career this decade, part of me wants to believe that had something to do with him taking an acting break, at least until Guardians Vol. 3.

Emma Thompson reprises her role as Agent O, the new commander that took over for Rip Torn’s Agent Zed from the first two movies, and is the only connection to the original trilogy present; however, she only appears in the beginning and the end of the movie, being there just to get Tessa Thompson into the story. She could have been completely written out of the movie, and it wouldn’t make a difference. This also applies to Kumail Nanjiani as Pawny, who is only there to get kids in the audience; he has no real purpose to serve in this film at all, and they don’t even give him anything funny to say or do. He hardly does anything, and when he does, he fucks up and leaves everything to Thompson and Hemsworth, it begs the question why bother having him there? Or better yet, why was Frank the Pug in this movie; didn’t they retire his character after the actual dog died?

The action scenes are fine, but I never got invested because of the biggest problem I have with this movie, which has also been a recurring problem that I’m starting to notice more: the pacing is way too fast. Every year, it feels like most movies believe the audiences' attention spans are getting shorter and shorter, so they’re trying to get all this information out to you, in the hopes that it’ll get you on board and ask questions later. Heck, the movie doesn’t even know how to start itself; it opens with a flashback to H and High-T (Liam Neeson) where, like I said, they pretty much gave away who the villain is, only to end and cut to 1996 where we see Molly as a kid, and then to her looking for work at MIB without saying it out loud. Also, for a film that’s supposed to be about an underground organization that’s supposed to remain in secret, they have a lot more out of the open incidents that they CLEARLY did not think about; they had a chase scene through an entire middle eastern village, and it’s so obvious that not all of them were neuralysed.

Ever since Disney bought Fox, now having reigns over 60% of the competition put out in theaters, Sony has felt intimidated and afraid they’re going to get swept up and bought out, so their solution is to try and make their own cinematic universe franchise. However, the only one that had a chance of putting some challenge against Disney was Warner Bros with the DCEU, but look how THAT turned out; since then, they’ve decided to do one-shot projects, at least until they can get someone who knows what the hell they want to do with these characters properly.

MIB International is yet another one of 2019’s biggest lacklusters; another studio mandated assignment, to keep the rights to a franchise nobody cares about anymore, and make a buck off a film nobody asked for. While it feels a little more polished and complete than Dark Phoenix, that’s like comparing lemon custard doughnuts to plain glazed doughnuts; just because one has more to it than the other, doesn’t make it good for you. As much as I love Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth, you’re better off just rewatching Thor Ragnarok again. At least this film kept Danny Eflman's theme score...

Rating: D

Dark Phoenix - Worst X-Men Movie?

Dark Phoenix is written and directed by Simon Kinberg (in his directorial debut), and the twelfth film in the X-Men Fox Saga. It’s now 1992, and on their first space rescue mission, Jean Grey absorbs a solar flare that causes her powers to skyrocket, becoming known as “the Phoenix”. However, as she’s becoming unstable with this power and losing her trust in the X-Men, all while now becoming a target by the world and especially the alien race, the D’Bari, led by Vuk.

The Dark Phoenix Saga is regarded by many fans as debatably the best and one of the most important storylines in the X-Men comics, but so far the only adaptation that’s been the most faithful has been from X-Men: The Animated Series. I’m not just saying this because they able to take their time with telling this story arc in their series and flesh out the character development, but every other attempt to adapt this storyline (both movies AND tv) ended up being swept under its feet. For example, every later X-Men cartoon that was going to do it, ended up getting cancelled after the show ends on a cliffhanger. This also isn’t the first time that Fox has attempted to adapt The Dark Phoenix Saga as it became a major plotline in X-Men: The Last Stand; however, after multiple crew members left (including director Bryan Singer and the writing staff), Fox brought on Brett Ratner, Zak Penn, and Simon Kinberg, to adapt the storyline built for Jean and muddle it into this plot about a cure for mutants and killing off characters out of nowhere; along with behind-the-scenes controversy that occurred with Brett Ratner’s behavior on set, it not only damaged the reputation of the films, but the X-Men franchise in general. I was ten when I saw that film in theatres, and while I liked it at the time, I could still at least tell something was off about it.

After Bryan Singer came back with X-Men: Days of Future Past, fixing a lot of problems people had, it was short lived after X-Men: Apocalypse, due to the studio wanting to do redo Dark Phoenix instead of doing Mister Sinister (who had been built up since X-Men: First Class and was going to be introduced in The New Mutants played by Jon Hamm. Instead, writer Simon Kinberg was given the task as director, at the request of main cast members. Yeah, because the guy who co-wrote Fant4stic and Mr. & Mrs. Smith is CLEARLY the right person to give a second chance to on such a massive story arc.

Through months of reshoots, including a rewrite of the whole third act, and several last minute delays, the film has finally made its release to the public...and it was one of the most depressing film experiences I’ve ever had. This is such a soulless movie, and by that, I mean there isn’t a drop of enthusiasm or interest to be had with what’s going on. Hell, even the credits don’t even make an attempt to hype you up or anticipate some dread into you.

Once again, the biggest problem is that this film doesn’t properly represent the themes of the original story. The struggle of Jean tapping into this hidden power and keeping it under control is slightly represented, but then she’ll suddenly act like she’s mastered this new found power she has, completely out of nowhere. It also retcons the whole climax of X-Men: Apocalypse, when she ALREADY has the Phoenix Force power, but suddenly it’s a completely separate entity that Jean absorbs apparently. I also found out this film’s original third act was redone, because it was too similar to Captain Marvel’s, and while the train fight sequence does look cool, you can tell this belonged to a completely different movie; it was like a sudden jump in quality from average filmmaking to above average.

Most of the dialogue is downright awful, and feels like it was written to kind of trigger people, like Mystique yelling at Charles that it should be “X-Women” after Jean did all the saving; or how most of these characters talking about what this all means for mutant kind, and it just comes off as laughable. Even with the level of talent in the cast, they don’t look the least bit happy to be there. James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult; after having to play these characters and have them relearn and say the morals they’ve been preaching since 2011 when they did First Class, I don’t blame them for not wanting to be there anymore, but it doesn’t make me interested to watch them either. Even later members from like Tye Sheridan, Evan Peters, and Alexandra Shipp didn’t seem that hopeful about it. Jessica Chastain as the villain, Vuk, you could have cut her out of the movie and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Apparently, Chastain’s character was supposed to be like Ben Mendlesohn’s Skrull character, but due to the reshoots or because Fox didn’t do their research, she now comes off like Sofia Boutella’s character in The Mummy.

This brings me to Sophie Turner in the titular role, and the reason I bring her up last is because she leaves the least impactful impression on me. The script has her go through the same repetitive mood swings: Jean goes for help, she’s turned away, someone shows up looking for her, she loses her cool, runs away crying. After the third time, it becomes apparent they didn’t know how to actually write this character or this arc at all, even if this WAS two films. With this being the second time Kinberg has attempted to adapt this story, it’s even more frustrating because he clearly doesn’t know how to adapt this storyline properly. Originally, they were supposed to be building up to Mister Sinister, who was actually going to be revealed in The New Mutants played by Jon Hamm; but due to them delaying it to plan a series, as well as Simon Kinberg taking over the next main X-Men and try to build another multi-part story that has to be sanded down to one film due to changes in management, Fox just ended up shooting themselves in the foot for like the fourth or fifth time.

For a series that managed to stay relevant for twenty years, despite its flubs, the X-Men Film Saga has had both the best and worst examples of comic book movies, and this one falls under the latter. Much like Justice League and Spiderman 3, this was a finale that had too much crammed in and bit off more than it could chew; whether this came before or after Avengers Endgame, this film was already the final nail in the coffin for not just the X-Men Film Saga, but 20th Century Fox as a company all together. To end this off, allow me to quote T.S. Eliot: “The world ends/Not with a bang, but a whimper.” And that “whimper” is Dark Phoenix.

Rating: F