Monday, October 14, 2019

Hellboy (2019) - 31 Nights of Horror Reviews Year 6




Hellboy (2019) is the third live-action film in the franchise, this time directed by Neil Marshall, and stars David Harbour as the titular character, Milla Jovovich as the Blood Queen, Ian McShane, Sasha Lane, and Daniel Dae Kim. In this reboot of the film series, Hellboy learns that a former enemy is attempting to resurrect Nimue, the Blood Queen, by putting her body back together, and it’s up to him and his colleagues to save the world. Along this journey, he learns of his true origins and fate that the Queen hopes to complete for him.


Despite the cult following both the Guillermo del Toro movies had, the box office results weren’t enough to get another sequel, so plans for it got shelved for Lionsgate to give the go ahead on a reboot. It’s sad, because after winning Oscars for The Shape of Water, I think studios would have been on board with the project and it would have been a hit. Instead, Neil Marshall (The Descent) was hired to bring on an R-rated reboot, with David Harbour (Sheriff Hopper from Stranger Things) set to dawn the Right Hand of Doom, based on Mignola’s suggestion. It was also going to focus on a much younger Hellboy than the one we first saw in the del Toro movies.


So after eleven years (get it?) of waiting for a new cinematic adventure with the half-man, half-demon that’ll save us all, does this film live up to the del Toro films? Unfortunately, no; and you have to know, if a film is putting both you and your friends to sleep in the theatre, like what happened to me, that’s a bad sign.


Right off the bat, the opening flashback is edited like it was supposed to be a recap of a previous entry, when this is supposed to be a first installment; the rest of the movie has this wonky editing style too, and it makes the story feel rushed, but executed in a slow and dull manner. Aside from Hellboy’s make-up, the production and action scenes look absolutely terrible; that fight scene with the giants that you see in the trailer, the greenscreen looked so sloppy, and the camera work throughout it made it nauseating to keep track.

This movie's tone also the same problem Suicide Squad had, with trying to be like Deadpool and Guardians of the Galaxy, but it also tries to be a horror film by having all of these del Toro-like designs only twice the gore. I get they want to make this a gritty R-rated reboot, especially with Neil Marshall on board, but most of the gore they show is completely uncalled for. The worst of all is when Hellboy sees a closet of dead children, and they linger on that shot for a while; say what you will about del Toro’s movies being PG-13, but that didn’t need excessive gore to be violent. With how much blood and guts were spilling, I could have sworn this was originally intended for Netflix, where, ironically, you can watch the first del Toro movie RIGHT NOW.


David Harbour as Hellboy is one of the two good performances, but after watching this and season 3 of Stranger Things, I felt sorry for the guy. Apparently, there were rumors that he walked off set after heated fights with Neil Marshall, who was also clashing with the producer over final cut reigns; Harbour himself has been rumoured to have changed some of his lines to flow better, but I wish he could have reminded them that Hellboy is supposed to be fireproof, even against electricity. This isn’t the first time we’ve heard control stories, but considering this has been happening this year alone with this, Dark Phoenix, MIB International, and even back in 2015 with Fant4stic and Ant-Man to an extent, this has been foreshadowing that adaptations and franchises are becoming a really toxic business decision. Regardless, Harbour does his best, playing a more inexperienced Hellboy, keeping in tone that the character is a bit immature. He has a few funny lines here and there, but it’s a shame that he was wasted on such a mess of a film.


The other performance I liked was Lobster Johnson (Thomas Hayden Church), a character that inspired Hellboy to be a hero, and one Mignola promised fans was finally going to be in a movie after teasing us so much. Like Mysterio in the Spider-Man films, this was another character that Bruce Campbell was almost up for, even being Mignola and del Toro's first choice casting; there were even rumors of him voicing the character in some deleted content of the video games and a third direct-to-video animated Hellboy. And I also realized both Campbell and Church were in Spider-Man 3...finding a lot of weird connections lately. Still, Church is delightfully entertaining, despite his minimal screentime.

From that point on, the rest of the cast is meh. Milla Jovovich as the Blood Queen, Nimue, doesn’t really have much to bring, other than the “I’m evil, and I want the hero evil too” trope, while looking sexy, I guess. Much like with Resident Evil, Jovovich has nothing to really work with, either from the script or director; and considering the last film I liked her in was the first Zoolander, it just shows that a lot of her choices have not been giving her the best. Heck, the guy who brings her back, Gruagach (Stephen Graham and Douglas Tait), had more of an arc to work with, since his character already has some previously built history with Hellboy and another character that wants revenge, even in an end-credits scene. Ian McShane as Prof. Bruttenholm plays it like any other Ian McShane role, just more exposition heavy; he also has one bit in the climax, that’s the worst cgi effect in the whole movie...just why?


Sasha Lane and Daniel Dae Kim as Hellboy’s teammates are fine, but they’re kind of there when the plot needs them for specific roles. Brian Gleeson has an appearance as Merlin, because we haven’t had enough King Arthur movies recently. Doug Jones was asked to come back as Abe Sapien, but it completely retcons the character's history, just for the sake of doing a "Tune in next time..." kind of ending. Thankfully, Jones wasn't in this movie, and good on him.


This is one of the worst studio controlled films I’ve seen in a while, and it’s getting annoying that everyone is trying to make film universes, even to where Harbour was pissed that fans were expecting that; seriously, this shit is getting out of hand, and with how many are being pushed, it's becoming a big waste of money. It’s a shame, because now that the film tanked and plans for a sequel are through, I doubt David Harbour would even want to do another film adaptation like that again for a while. It’s hard to pinpoint who's to blame for this film, but I think everyone can agree that the only director so far to understand this series has been Guillermo del Toro. After this, expect the film rights to Hellboy to be up for grabs by a studio who might hopefully know what they’re doing.


Rating: F

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