CHiPs (2017)

            So about a week ago, I went to a preview screening of “Chips,” based on the 70’s tv show, and it starred Michael Pena and Dax Shepard. I never saw the show, nor did I even know it was based on a show until I saw it in the credits, so again, I’m looking at this based on a movie.

            In this action-comedy, we follow a former BMX stuntman trying to fix his marriage, and a sex addicted FBI agent, join the California Highway Patrol, in order to find the undercover agents causing crime under their noses. Spoiler alert: it’s the most obvious casting.

            Does it look bad to you? Well, it should, because it sucks…it sucks really badly. I get this film may be trying to cash in on the success of the “21 Jump Street” film franchise, taking a cheesy show and making a big budget comedy out of it, but here’s the thing: “21 & 22 Jump Street” were both directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, two of the funniest film makers working today. “Chips,” however, was directed/written/produced by the star, Dax Shepard, who is nowhere near the level of skill that Lord and Miller are at, or even 30%.

I mean, sure I’ll admit I laughed about…five times in this movie, but they were so spread out and far between that it doesn’t get a pass from me. It’s an action comedy, yet it lacks in both. Hell, the only funny and exciting moment that I had with the movie was seeing Justin Chatwin getting his head sliced off in the film. There were also some really bad edits that I noticed, where the cut was either too early or too late, especially when you have audio that doesn’t feel matched right. And as someone who took an editing class just last fall, it just made me angry how poorly cobbled together this film felt.

            Part of what doesn’t work is that these characters aren’t likable. Hell, the only actor who seems to be trying to make this work is Vincent D’Onofrio as the villain. Even in some of the lousiest of films, D’Onofrio always manages to bring his A-game, especially when it comes to villains. However, that’s about the best thing that I can say about this film’s casting. Everyone one else on the other hand…oh boy. Michael Pena and Dax Shepard are two characters that don’t mesh well together. Pena plays the guy trying to do the real work but is a sex addict, and Shepard plays the douchey BMX expert who’s trying to fix his marriage. They both have a pro-con setting to them, but it doesn’t flow right. These two have such horrible chemistry together on screen, that you just end up hating both of them equally and begin rooting for the villain to flat out ax these two off. As for the supporting cast, Rosa Salazar, Jane Kaczmarek, Adam Brody, Kristen Bell, Maya Rudolph, Jessica McNamee, and Ben Falcone are all wasted. Hell, the film even features a cameo from Mae Whitman, who hosts a children’s fair and had one of the only good lines in the movie! For you to waste Mae Whitman, one of the most talented young actresses of the past two decades, that’s a major fuck you!

            Overall, I do not recommend “CHiPs.” This film was just a stupid, stupid…STUPID piece of shit. Most of the jokes are vulgar in the worst possible way, the action is sub-par at best, the main characters are annoying, the editing is terrible, and it’s just not worth your time. Even after getting a free pass for this movie, I felt cheated.

Rating: 2/10