R.I.P.D.

                In 1999, the Sci-fi channel brought in a show called “Good vs. Evil,” about a cop who dies and is brought into an afterlife police department, taking on criminals of the undead who are refusing to accept death. Before that, in 1997, “Men in Black” had set its mark on the world of buddy-action films. These two have had cult followings throughout the late 90’s to early 2000’s, being something within the science-fiction genre that hasn’t been seen on TV or movies. Why do I bring this up? Well, because they’re both being heavily ripped-off in “R.I.P.D.”

                “R.I.P.D.” tells of the story Nick Walker, a man who is double-crossed by his Kevin Bacon partner, and is then recruited into working for an afterlife organization that takes in dead spirits who refuse to accept the afterlife. He does this, while teamed up with Roy Pulsipher.

“R.I.P.D.” is pretty much the plot of “Good vs. Evil” all while trying to be “Men in Black.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve addressed before that rip-offs aren’t all bad, if they’re at least enjoyable. “Olympus Has Fallen” and “The Hunger Games” are examples of it being done right. With “R.I.P.D.” it never tries in anyway shape or form to be interesting in the slightest. The acting is crap, the action scenes are boring, the script is lackluster, and the special effects were so terrible I had to check if my eyes were bleeding from just looking at it.

First off, Ryan Reynolds doesn’t even look like he’s even trying in this movie. I have never seen him give such a wooden performance as this since “Green Lantern.” This is the fourth time he’s done a comic book movie and has failed in doing so. If he wants to prove me wrong, he’d better make up for it with “Deadpool,” and actually BE Deadpool. Kevin Bacon is the villain in this movie, and he does it so clichéd and obvious, that the reveal of him being a dead-o couldn’t be any more obvious if he just wore a shirt that said, “I’m fucking evil! Fear me!” because guess what? It’s Kevin Bacon! OF COURSE HE’S EVIL! Stephanie Szostak was incredibly forgettable and felt really forced in. All she did in this movie was being the girlfriend and damsel, all while not being interesting in ANY way. If you had just cut her out of the film, you’d have the exact same film. However, the most aggravating character in this movie was Jeff Bridges. People who have said they hated this movie have cut Jeff Bridges slack, but I disagree. I absolutely HATED this character, and Bridges doesn’t do anything in this movie to make him interesting. All he does in this movie is act like a big-shot rebel from the old west, all while being an annoying prick to Ryan Reynolds. He keeps going on and on about how he was killed and eaten by coyotes, but not once are we ever sympathizing with him. Not only that, but I could hardly understand what the hell this guy was saying in the film. He was harder to understand than Darth Connery Bane in “The Dark Knight Rises.”

The special effects and action scenes don’t help the film much either. It felt like this film should have been released in the early 90’s, when CGI was in its popularity craze; but this was 2013, and these effects look worse than the “Catwoman” movie. And with the creatures being called “Dead-os,” makes me think they wanted to make it like the “Evil Dead” deadites…As for the action scenes, they were boring and uneventful, almost as badly as “A Good Day to Die Hard.” Even with its climactic battle, there was nothing that got me exciting, except thinking I could be watching a better movie with an “end of the world struggle batte.”

The film was directed by Robert Schwentke, the same man responsible for directing “Red,” back in 2010, and honestly to see that the sequel to that be better received just shows how big a mistake it was to do this film. Granted, “Red” wasn’t all THAT big of a movie, but it was still better than this crap.

Overall, “R.I.P.D.” is one of the worst films I’ve seen this year, and in general. It’s pretty much if you took the main character from “Green Lantern,” put him into the premise of “Good vs. Evil,” with a  character that looked like he just walked off the set of “Jonah Hex,” in the style of “Men in Black,” only made into a terrible mess. For a good time, NOT THIS MOVIE!

Rating: 1/10