R.I.P.D.

                In 1999, the Sci-fi channel brought in a show called “Good vs. Evil,” about a cop who dies and is brought into an afterlife police department, taking on criminals of the undead who are refusing to accept death. Before that, in 1997, “Men in Black” had set its mark on the world of buddy-action films. These two have had cult followings throughout the late 90’s to early 2000’s, being something within the science-fiction genre that hasn’t been seen on TV or movies. Why do I bring this up? Well, because they’re both being heavily ripped-off in “R.I.P.D.”

                “R.I.P.D.” tells of the story Nick Walker, a man who is double-crossed by his Kevin Bacon partner, and is then recruited into working for an afterlife organization that takes in dead spirits who refuse to accept the afterlife. He does this, while teamed up with Roy Pulsipher.

“R.I.P.D.” is pretty much the plot of “Good vs. Evil” all while trying to be “Men in Black.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve addressed before that rip-offs aren’t all bad, if they’re at least enjoyable. “Olympus Has Fallen” and “The Hunger Games” are examples of it being done right. With “R.I.P.D.” it never tries in anyway shape or form to be interesting in the slightest. The acting is crap, the action scenes are boring, the script is lackluster, and the special effects were so terrible I had to check if my eyes were bleeding from just looking at it.

First off, Ryan Reynolds doesn’t even look like he’s even trying in this movie. I have never seen him give such a wooden performance as this since “Green Lantern.” This is the fourth time he’s done a comic book movie and has failed in doing so. If he wants to prove me wrong, he’d better make up for it with “Deadpool,” and actually BE Deadpool. Kevin Bacon is the villain in this movie, and he does it so clichéd and obvious, that the reveal of him being a dead-o couldn’t be any more obvious if he just wore a shirt that said, “I’m fucking evil! Fear me!” because guess what? It’s Kevin Bacon! OF COURSE HE’S EVIL! Stephanie Szostak was incredibly forgettable and felt really forced in. All she did in this movie was being the girlfriend and damsel, all while not being interesting in ANY way. If you had just cut her out of the film, you’d have the exact same film. However, the most aggravating character in this movie was Jeff Bridges. People who have said they hated this movie have cut Jeff Bridges slack, but I disagree. I absolutely HATED this character, and Bridges doesn’t do anything in this movie to make him interesting. All he does in this movie is act like a big-shot rebel from the old west, all while being an annoying prick to Ryan Reynolds. He keeps going on and on about how he was killed and eaten by coyotes, but not once are we ever sympathizing with him. Not only that, but I could hardly understand what the hell this guy was saying in the film. He was harder to understand than Darth Connery Bane in “The Dark Knight Rises.”

The special effects and action scenes don’t help the film much either. It felt like this film should have been released in the early 90’s, when CGI was in its popularity craze; but this was 2013, and these effects look worse than the “Catwoman” movie. And with the creatures being called “Dead-os,” makes me think they wanted to make it like the “Evil Dead” deadites…As for the action scenes, they were boring and uneventful, almost as badly as “A Good Day to Die Hard.” Even with its climactic battle, there was nothing that got me exciting, except thinking I could be watching a better movie with an “end of the world struggle batte.”

The film was directed by Robert Schwentke, the same man responsible for directing “Red,” back in 2010, and honestly to see that the sequel to that be better received just shows how big a mistake it was to do this film. Granted, “Red” wasn’t all THAT big of a movie, but it was still better than this crap.

Overall, “R.I.P.D.” is one of the worst films I’ve seen this year, and in general. It’s pretty much if you took the main character from “Green Lantern,” put him into the premise of “Good vs. Evil,” with a  character that looked like he just walked off the set of “Jonah Hex,” in the style of “Men in Black,” only made into a terrible mess. For a good time, NOT THIS MOVIE!

Rating: 1/10

Pacific Rim

                Giant robot movies have really taken to scale on what they can become today in film. “Transformers,” while a terrible film series, did prove the fact that making films about giant robots IS possible. It just depends on how you can do them in a way that actually works, and isn’t complete and total bull with people on the internet in a complete raging war about it. What people want isn’t just to have robots fights, after going through two hours of annoying and undeveloped characters; what they want is a story with actual context, three dimensional characters, and robot fights that aren’t so damn close, so you can tell what’s going on. Well good news, the director of “Hellboy,” Guillermo Del Toro, has answered your prayers with “Pacific Rim.”

                The film is set in a future, not too far from our own, where kaiju from an alternate world rift in the ocean have come to destroy the world. While they manage to take a couple down with tanks and planes, they double down and created the Jaegers, which are giant fighting robots. Cut to years later, where we meet our main character, Raleigh Becket, whose re-recruited back into the fight, after five years. With him back in the battle, it leaves the military with a better chance of defense, and more time from them to find a way to destroy the rift and finally stop this neverending cycle of chaos. Much like most of Guillermo Del Toro movies, this epic masterpiece is just a love-letter to film making in general. And most importantly, unlike “Transformers,” it has very likable characters, a very enjoyable story, and action scenes that actually have scale and weight to it.

                Charlie Hunnam from “Sons of Anarchy” plays Raleigh, and he really does a great job through the film. He may be the clichéd hero who is determined to do what it takes, but gives the character a great charm to him, much like in every Guillermo Del Toro movie. Rinko Kikuchi takes on the role of Mako Mori, and she’s all kinds of badass in this movie. She did a great job in this role, and throughout you can see in her expression that she’s be through tons of hell. Idris Elba plays Marshal Stacker Pentecost, which is the role of the stern military leader who wants things done by the book. However, unlike most versions of this cliché, Stacker actually has a purpose for most of his decisions, especially with his backstory with Mori. I don’t want to give away what it is, but when you see it, things will come clear.

                Charlie Day and Burn Gorman play Newt and Hermann, two scientists who have been studying the Kaiju for years now. They may be the comic reliefs in this film, but it comes from their own quirky attitudes and determination, especially with Charlie Day. Sure, it may seem like he’s just playing Charlie from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” but here he’s given much more depth and personality, other than just being a crazy nut with smarts. And with it being Guillermo Del Toro, you can always count on Ron Perlman being in the film. He does a great job, playing a black-market dealer, and his scenes interacting with Day is just hilarious. He alone is worth the price of admission, and it’s worth every penny.

                Now let’s talk about the main purpose for the movie, the action scenes. Holy crap, these are some of the most spectacular special effects and fight scenes ever captured on film. This is what everything good about giant robots and giant monster battles should be like. This is Guillermo Del Toro’s love-letter to the otaku in all of us who grew up watching giant-mecha anime like “Voltron,” “Robotech,” and any Gundam series you can think of. Top it all off with a kick-ass soundtrack, and you’ve got one amazing film that will be worth remembering for a long time.

                Overall, “Pacific Rim” is one of my favorite movies of the year, and I’m hoping this film makes its money so it can let Mr. Del Toro make a sequel to both this and “Hellboy!” One more thing, feel free to see the film in 3D, because it is WELL worth it!

Rating: 10/10

The Lone Ranger

                Johnny Depp still stands as one of the most iconic working actors today. Ever since his debut in 1984 with Wes Craven’s “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” he’s appeared in many films that have become classic in an instant. “Fear and Loathing,” “Finding Neverland,” “Platoon,” “Donnie Brasco,” “Cry-Baby,” and “Ed Wood,” just to name the few. He’s done plenty of films to show just how good of an actor he can be and go further and beyond with it. But that doesn’t mean he’s had a share of bad films as well, like “The Man Who Cried,” “The Tourist,” “Dark Shadows,” “Ninth Gate,” and so forth.

                This time, Depp has teamed up with “Pirates of the Caribbean” director, Gore Verbinski, once again, for Disney’s big budget re-imagining to “The Lone Ranger,” marking it as the first Lone Ranger movie in over thirty years.  Now, I never actually was too big on the Lone Ranger, or even knew anyone who WAS a fan of the character, so I’m only going to be judging this film on its own. Before I even saw the film, I’ve heard SO much hatred upon this film, to where Rotten Tomatoes had it at a 25% rating. But that didn’t stop me from seeing this at the premiere showing. And yes, there are many things that I do agree with people that didn’t make the film work and falls flat…However, I didn’t really find it AS bad as people were making it out to be. Also, I’d like to point out that there are spoilers ahead, so I’d suggest you’d skip over to the rating, or continue on with reading what I have to say.

                The movie tells of John Reid, a lawyer who arrives into town to visit his brother and family, all while on the transport of Butch Cavendish, a cannibalistic outlaw. When Butch escapes, John joins his brother and his friends, now deputized as a ranger, but are then gunned down by Butch. John survives, and is told is a spirit walker by Tonto, a native that John arrested after Butch escaped, who both now want to hunt down Butch and take revenge for killing people that they held dear to them.

                First off, let’s get the obvious one out of the way, and that’s Johnny Depp. Now my problem with Depp in the role wasn’t the fact that he wasn’t Indian, and he was just saying he had ancestry and a Native mother to prove he IS part Native; I’m sick of hearing those arguments over and over again, and just the minute it comes into play just gives me a headache; no, my problem was the fact that Depp wasn’t really playing a different character, and was just playing Jack Sparrow while talking Indian. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the Jack Sparrow character, but I find it completely unnecessary outside of the “Pirates” series. It could have worked out fine if Depp kept it subtle throughout the film, but it’s there for most of the film, and it gets old really fast. Depp, we know you got an Oscar nomination for it, we don’t need to see it in EVERYTHING you’re in now.

Another thing that really didn’t work was some of the comedy moments, which really took the mood from the scene it was in, like a chase scene that has a horse drinking from a bottle of rum or a very serious back-story followed by some dumbass line. Disney, you don’t need to make this “Pirates of the Caribbean,” we already have enough of that from Depp.

                Also the story is basically a rehash of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” and no; I’m not kidding when I say that. A hero whose apart of the law, whose brother is killed by a cartoony villain, goes after him with the help of another cartoony character, who had a thing with a sexy-redhead thrown in somewhere; that pretty much “Roger Rabbit,” with Lone Ranger characters put into the mix of things. Speaking of sexy-redhead, Helena Bonham Carter appears in this movie, and is only in the film for two scenes; and no, that one moment in the beginning where she’s seeing the railroad being built does not count. She’s supposed to be a character that helps out Reid and Tonto, especially in the third act, but with how they’ve underused her and how they’ve had other characters, all it does is make you wonder what the point of having her was, especially when her character rips off “Planet Terror.”

                Now the one thing that I felt was completely pointless were the scenes that took place in the 1930’s, which start off the film. The events of the Lone Ranger happening were told through Tonto, to a kid looking at exhibits in a fair. Those scenes didn’t really add much to the film, other than it just to be there for the sake of comedy. And it doesn’t help much that the kid’s the boy from “Spy Kids 4.”

                Also, with the Lone Ranger being a “spirit walker” in which he can’t be killed, they don’t really do much with that sort of thing. There’s even a scene where Reid doesn’t stops believing Tonto about it, and instead of having him shot to make him believe he is, they just have Tonto save Reid from that; but then again, Reid was only shot in the shoulder when he and his brother were ambushed, so I guess that breaks that argument.

                Now with all that I’ve said, what made me think this film wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be? Well for starters, William Fichtner as Butch Cavendish was very enjoyable to watch. Fichtner really knows how to bring out a good villain, being the highlights of even some of the weakest of films. Hell, the things that he does in this film, and just the amount of what they’ve shown in this film, this came pretty close to being Disney’s first R-rated movie.

While I wasn’t too big on Depp as Tonto, I got to give them props for giving them a proper back-story to why he has a vendetta against Butch, as well as explaining how the whole “spirit walker” thing came into play for him. There’s also Armie Hammer as John Reid, the Lone Ranger himself. People complained that this guy was unlikable, because he makes dumb decisions like not killing Butch and instead arresting him. Well, he’s already been established as a man of the law, so he does all those on instinct, especially when he’s admitted he’s not a cruel man. It helps within the final act when he puts all of that aside to finally do something right, and I didn’t have any problem with what they did with that.

People thought that the film should have just been called “Tonto and the Lone Ranger,” since it focused more on Tonto than it did the actual Lone Ranger himself. Yes, I do agree that is a legitimate gripe, but I felt that they explained enough about John Reid as a character throughout the first act, and you can tell in his expression that he’s been through some tough times.

                What I also enjoyed about this film were the action scenes, most notable the final action scene in the end. If anything, these are probably the best action scenes that I’ve seen in any Western flick. The stunt work, the angles, the shootouts, the tension, all of it tied with the Lone Ranger theme playing, thanks to composer Hans Zimmer bringing that to life. Even with all the problems with this film, this still stands as one of the most exciting climaxes I have ever seen. However, it barely makes up for some of the other stuff that came about, through and through. If this film had made a few adjustments, this would have been an interesting pilot for a new Lone Ranger TV series on AMC.

                Overall, while “The Lone Ranger” isn’t quite as bad as everyone made it out to be, it still doesn’t make itself a good movie. It has some redeeming qualities, but in the end it just falls flat as being a very mediocre film. But would the positives still make it worth seeing in theaters? Of course. Like I said, the Lone Ranger himself is a likable character, and there are some damn good action scenes, especially with the climax, and there are enjoyments with the villain. If this film took out all those mistakes and wasn’t bombing as badly, though it wouldn’t have been a problem if it didn’t cost $300 million, then I would have loved to see a sequel, or maybe even a full-on trilogy. But instead, we have this.

Rating: 5/10

White House Down

                Last March, we took a look at the movie about the White House take over flick, starring Gerard Butler and Aaron Eckhart, “Olympus Has Fallen.” Now we take a look at the OTHER White House take over flick, this time from Roland Emmerich, “White House Down,” starring Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx.

                The film tells of John Cale, a D.C. police officer who takes her daughter to the White House for a tour, but to also apply for Secret Service. However, things take for the worse, when an inside attack happens, planned out by Martin Walker, Head of the Presidential Detail, in means of revenge and peace. Now it’s up to Cale to get President Sawyer to safety, and save his daughter before she and everyone else are killed and before Walker starts World War III. Much like other clones of “Die Hard,” as well as fun bad films like “Commando,” this film is very self-aware of its badness and has much fun with it in almost every second it can. It’s the first FUN Roland Emmerich movie we’ve had since “Independence Day,” and that’s saying something.

                Channing Tatum as John Cale does a good job for the role of that John McClane-esque hero figure, and has a captive charm to him that really does suit this kind of movie. I’m glad to see that he’s been building himself more as an actor in the past two years, showing that he has talent and he’s finally putting it to best use. Jamie Foxx as President Sawyer was also enjoyable in a way, for a character such as this. While at times his impression of Obama can get distracting at times, he still has moments that really do shine. James Woods plays Martin Walker, and he really steals the show as the villain. He’s cold, he’s unforgiving, he’s all the things that make a villain such as this. Jason Clarke also appears in the film as a former Delta Force operative, now leading a group. He really does pull through in the film, being intimidating, and actually posing a strong threat to Tatum in the film. It’s also nice to see him put to use, rather than have hardly any in “Gatsby.”

Now the question you’re probably asking is how this compares to “Olympus Has Fallen.” Well, I’d say “Olympus Has Fallen” is the better film, because it felt like it had more tension and it was more straight forward, where as “White Has Down” has more twists and turns to it, but I felt like it didn’t get me as invested as “Olympus” did. And the main reason is because of Joey King as the daughter in “WHD,” who was INCREDIBLY annoying! I don’t want to go into too much detail, but here’s the just of it: imagine a live-action Lisa Simpson, without ANY of the charm. King, I enjoyed you in “Dark Knight Rises” and “Oz,” but this role didn’t work for you.

Aside from that, “White House Down” is still an enjoyable film, just in the sheer fun of how bad it is. If you’re looking for a film that’s in that same goofy action flick, with a mid-90’s flare to it, definitely check it out.

Rating: 7/10