At the peak of 80’s action movies, one that truly stands the test of time would have to be Predator. The film starred Arnold Schwarzenegger as Dutch, a military commando sent to lead out a rescue mission in a Central American jungle, only for him and his team to encounter an alien hunter that engages them in a game of survival. What John McTiernan was able to deliver is something he would repeat with Die Hard a year later, and that’s bring the vulnerability to our badass heroes. This was one of the first times we got to see Arnold in a role where it truly felt like he had met his match, and it was with a creature out of this world; he was far from home, he’s cornered, and he’s constantly being hunted by a creature beyond this world. Not only that, but it gave some of the most memorable one-liners a film could ask for, delivered by a cast of heavy set stars that were pretty big at the time; Jesse Ventura, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Sonny Landham, and the late-great Kevin Peter Hall as the titular monster itself, accompanied by the effects and costume works of Stan Winston.
Follow-ups to this movie have been tried, with Predator 2 and the Robert Rodriguez produced Predators sort of working as their own thing, but neither came anywhere close to how vicious and impactful the first movie was, nor find the same level of appeal. Hell, not even crossing over with the Alien franchise could help save it from the first film’s shadow. News of a new film hadn’t really popped up, until one of the first film’s original cast members, Shane Black, announced in 2014 that he would be directing and co-writing a new installment; he was already a ghost-writer for the first movie and has since made a name for himself behind the camera with Iron Man 3 and The Nice Guys, so it seemed like he was the ideal candidate to bring this franchise back to glory, even getting his friend, Fred Dekker (The Monster Squad) to co-write with him.
However, this movie had to go through some serious production hell, especially with all the news about it coming out since the year began. Much like with Justice League and Dark Phoenix, massive reshoots for the third act were called for just a few months before the film’s release and due to negative test screenings; around that time, actress Olivia Munn had called out executives on the film to cut Steve Wilder from the film, after discovering he was a cyber pedophile, causing ANOTHER re-cut to happen. It also had one of the most confusing advertising campaigns I had seen, because each trailer was advertised like it was almost a completely different movie. Then, of course, there’s the infamous moment in which Arnold talked about how he turned down the offer to return as Dutch, because he hated the script so much...that should have been taken into account.
The Predator is an example of a film that not only pissed me off, but actually personally insulted me as a human being. While the first ten minutes do set you up for something exciting, that’s when everything starts to turn into this muddled confusing mess of a story that feels like all the bad parts of previous films put into one. I mean, that whole thing about the two Predators is thrown out the window as soon as it starts, because the big guy comes out of nowhere, and kills off the first one almost instantly. Even the action scenes look like ass; just because it’s R rated and has crappy CG blood, doesn’t make it nearly as effective as...pretty much most action films. Considering how many different cuts this movie had to go through, it’s no wonder that it fee
The acting is just weak, and this is coming from what is a very talented cast: Boyd Holdbrook, Trevante Rhodes, Jacob Trembly, Yvonne Strahovski, Sterling K. Brown, Keegan-Michael Key, Alfie Allen, Thomas Jane, and even Jake Busey, playing the son of the character his dad, Gary Busey, played in Predator 2. All of them are either giving performances of not-really-trying to completely detestable people. Most of them are there just to spew one-liners and be red-shirts, but they don’t even make them entertaining in the slightest.
*SPOILER ALERT*
So you want to know what the objective of the Predator is? Okay, strap in…*ahem*: They’re trying to steal autism to further their evolution, before climate change kills off humanity...wow, this is the first time I had a film insult both my politics and mental health at once, and I thought it was bad enough sitting behind a drunk guy and his hooker of a date running their yaps throughout the film, causing me to rewatch this crap again. Although, considering this film was also making fun of tourettes, I shouldn’t be too surprised.
As of right now, The Predator is now a major contender for the worst movie I have seen this year, and I’m really starting to consider putting it at number 1. The action is sloppy, the writing hurts me, the characters all suck and was unable to like a single one of them, and the fact that it tries to sequel bait is laughable; Fox, you deserve to get swallowed by Disney!
Rating: F -
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