“Poltergeist”
is remembered by many as one of the most memorable haunted house flicks of the
1980’s. Written and produced by Steven Spielberg and directed by Tobe Hooper,
the film became a landmark for future ghost films to draw inspiration from as
time went on. It’s also been noted for being a cursed franchise, as several
complications and deaths have happened to people who had some relation to the
film, with the most noted being Dominique Dunne’s murder at 22, five months
after the film’s release, and Heather O’Rourke’s death at 12 from septic shock
during “Poltergeist III.”
Word
of a remake had been going around constantly since the beginning of this
decade, and it was said to be produced by Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert, directed
by Gil Kenan of “Monster House” fame, and written by David Lindsay-Abaire who wrote
“Rabbit Hole.” Soon enough, the film was made and released after much delay,
and…it was really pointless, like almost every other bad remake.
Much
like the first film, the remake-oh wait, I mean “reboot,” centers around a
family who moves into a new house, only to discover paranormal things happening
about. When the youngest daughter of the family gets abducted by these spirits
through the closet, they call up professionals to help them deal with this
entity to get their daughter back.
When
you really look at the film, there isn’t much reason to call it a reboot, as
this could have just been called “Poltergeist 4,” and we would have dismissed
it as just another shitty sequel. Hell, the family’s names are different, so
instead of the Freeling family, we have the Bowen family. Instead of Carol
Anne, we have Madison. Sure, there’s the clown scene, the tree scene, and the
going into the portal through the closet, but they’re so horribly executed they’re
made, the film would have been better off without it. Not only that, but it
also goes against Spielberg’s theme of the original movie, on how people then
were so addicted to television, hence why Carol Anne talks to the spirits
through static on the TV. If they were to properly update this film, they would
have done it with the gadgets that connect to the internet, which would have
been perfect to do, but they don’t!
There
are also points where this film tries to be a mix between “Insidious” and “Fright
Night,” by having a group of paranormal experts, ala “Insidious,” and the host
of a popular TV show about hauntings from “Fright Night,” with a few key
moments of “Poltergeist” added in. Which furthers my question: What’s the
point? “Insidious” is already the modern day version of “Poltergeist,” without
having to actually BE “Poltergeist.” I just don’t get the logic behind this!
I
will at least give credit to some of the cast. Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie
DeWitt do a great job playing the parents of this family to the best they can.
They’re fun, they have great moments, and I do buy them as loving a couple who
care about their children. Same with Jared Harris as the TV host they call in
to help. He has his moments, and I did buy him as a guy who knows more than
what you’d expect. The kids however, I couldn’t give a shit about. The oldest
sister, the middle brother, and the little girl, they were all expendable and
are terrible in their performances. What made the original so enticing was how
good the performances were with the kids, especially Heather O’Rourke as Carol
Anne. Spielberg is a master of bringing the actor out of any child, as proven
in almost all of his movies that feature children. Here, you can tell that the
kids’ performances are just that: performances, and bad ones at that.
Also
my biggest problem with this film is that it’s not scary and completely BORING.
In fact, if it wasn’t for the jump-scares that they put in this movie (which
were a lot), I most likely would have fallen asleep like I did at ”Jurassic
World,” another film with Spielberg attached to the original film. But whereas “Jurassic
World” at the very least had Chris Pratt and a couple good action scenes, this
movie barely has anything that sticks out and will mostly likely be forgotten
and buried into obscurity.
Overall,
Gil Kenan and Sam Raimi’s “Poltergeist” is not worth the trouble. If you want
to see a good haunted house flick, go and watch the original film. It is far
superior and more deserving of your time.
Rating: 3/10
Also, if you want to see a modern day haunted house
flick, go and watch “Insidious” if you’re interested. Oh, but don’t waste your
time on the recent third film, because…I’m reviewing that one next, aren’t I?
NEXT
TIME: Insidious Chapter 3
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