Generic Romance Soap Opera...or "Endless Love"

                In 1979, author Scott Spencer released his romance novel, “Endless Love,” which tells the story of 17-year old David Axelrod, who falls for 15-year old Jade Butterfield. When their relationship gets out of hand, Jade’s father forbids David from stepping into the house, resulting in David doing things one wouldn’t normally do, just to be with Jade. The novel has been said by many to be one of the most compelling and investing love stories that really adds a lot of tension and chemistry to these characters in this story.

                In 1981, the director of the “Romeo & Juliet” movie from the 60’s, Franco Zeffirelli, adapted the book into a feature film, starring Brooke Shields as Jade. The film, however, was panned for poor acting, lackluster direction, moments that don’t really add up, and for being a disregard for the book on many aspects. In fact, this was one of the first few films to have multiple nominations during the first five years of the Razzies; yeah, it was that bad. With that being said, the film has developed a cult following within time, as it has the iconic Oscar nominated title song by Lionel Richie, and being the film debut for actors James Spader and Tom Cruise.

                When word came out that a remake was to arrive, people were very mixed about it. For one, there were the people who were actually interested in seeing a proper representation of the book they’ve loved; then there were the people who were complaining on why they were remaking a shit movie, despite them being the same people complaining about remakes of good movies getting made as well.

                So how DOES the remake hold up? Well, let me say this…I could not have been begging for the original 1981 film any more if I tried. This film was not only inferior to the first film, but it distances itself farther from the book than anything I have ever seen! Never in my life have I seen a film so uncomfortably hard to watch, to where it made me walk out before it hit the halfway point, and I sat through “Prometheus” and “Die Hard 5” for God’s sake!

                Instead of just going through the plot like I usually do, especially since I already did, I’m going to be listing the five things that made this film so goddamn frustrating with every passing minute.

#1: The Age – I’m not talking about a generational age, but rather the age of the two main leads, Jade and Dave. The two in this film are depicted as college graduates, or high school graduates at best…if they’re out of high school, why is this a big deal for the father to get pushy about her dating?! It made sense in the book AND the ’81 movie, because Jade was just starting high school, where as Dave was close to graduation; here, they’re depicted as the same goddamn age, how is that wrong?!

#2: The Characters – Oh excuse me, what characters? These are not characters, but rather cardboard cutouts of characters that were just thrown in. I know half of these people were trying, but dear criminy of Hell; we don’t even get ANY development from these characters, aside from exposition by either unnecessary narration or someone of them saying something to move the story along. The film addresses that Jade has been sort of an unnoticed person, yet Dave admits at one point that he’s loved her since 10^th grade…and he hasn’t given her recognition until AFTER graduation…what a creep. The only character who actually HAS development is Jade’s dad, played by Bruce Greenwood. I’ll give credit to Bruce for trying whatever he could to make this actually work, but even then it wouldn’t have saved this movie. He sets up a party for his daughter’s graduation, yet only invites HIS friends, and then tells David that it was better before the kids in their class showed up. So you’re mad at a guy who likes your daughter, just for doing what she asked to begin with?! My god, you’re an idiot! Then there are the comic reliefs in this movie, which are not only unfunny, but managed to be just as obnoxious as humanly possible. The less you know there, the better.

#3: The Structure of the Story – No matter how much the ’81 film disregards the book, by having added in elements or mixed up parts, at least it had key moments that TRIED to follow the source material! This film on the other hand, had hardly ANYTHING to do with the book at all! You could have called this ANYTHING else, and you would have had the exact same movie! Here’s what I mean: the house burning scene is put at the end of this movie, during a fight between Jade and her father with candles all around; one gets knocked over, Dave helps save them, and the dad now has to make a decision on whether to keep the possession of a son he lost, or help Dave, resulting in a life changing moment…Okay, quick question, but…WHAT STORY ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL HERE?! If you’re trying to tell the story of someone finally moving on with life, I’d rather be watching a film that does it right. When I go into a film based on the novel “Endless Love,” I expect, oh I don’t know, THE STORY OF “ENDLESS LOVE”!! Even if this WASN'T an adaption of the story, it's still not a good way to tell a story like this!

#4: The Tone – The emotion that this film was supposed to be giving off here is non-existent. Nothing about this film even FEELS genuine in any way, shape, or form. Characters wise, story wise, and everything else doesn’t even try to make this film relatable to reality, because this sort of thing would not and COULD not happen! It tried to be cute, and it failed. It tried to be romantic, and it failed. It tried to be funny, and it failed, MISERABLY! It tried to be sad…which it succeeded, since I felt sad just being in that theater.

#5: Being Released Valentine’s Day Weekend – To everyone, and I mean EVERYONE…who took their significant other to this film, whether it was their decision or yours, I feel so sorry for whoever suffered through this travesty. To think that the film makers would have the balls to say this would be a great date movie, is about as insulting as saying “The Lone Ranger” deserves an Oscar nod. If you want a proper date movie, just go and see “The Lego Movie.” And if you’ve seen it already, go see it AGAIN! That film deserves your attention and money, more so than this!

                Overall, “Endless Love” has done nothing but enrage me greatly! It’s poorly acted, directed terribly, and written with such awful dialogue and exposition! I walked out on this film in the theater, and it took me watching again online, after five attempts, just to sit through the whole thing! To say that this film is the worst film of the year so far is a complete understatement! It's the worst adaptation, the worst remake, and a STRONG contender for the worst movie I have ever seen…PERIOD! It's that close people! I hate this movie! I hate it, hate it, HATE IT!

Rating: 1/10 (FUCK. THIS. MOVIE!)