Well, it's that time of year again folks. Today we'll be taking a look at all the good, the bad, and the ugly of this year in film. First we'll start with worst, that way I can get everything bad out of the way. And since there were so many good films this year, I couldn't just keep it to just ten, so these will be both fifteen. Not only that, but there are also films that I didn't quite review, but that would be either due to the fact that I didn't quite know how to explain it, or I just felt like the film spoke for itself in a way. But first, some dishonorable mentions, since I had good reason not to see.
Twilight Breaking Dawn part 2: First off, NO. I'm sorry, I'm not seeing that film in theaters, because after the last film, I have good reason to let that franchise just die already. Even though it's over and I could have at least seen how they could have gone with it, I wasn't risking it. So there.
Neighborhood Watch: Now don't come crying to me saying, "oh you moron, the film's called "THE WATCH," not "Neighborhood Watch"" or any of that crap. The reason that title got changed was because the studio didn't want it to get related to that Trevon Martin event that happened. I hate it when they do that, because that's just drawing attention to the event that people are trying to forget. Plus, I'm not paying a dime for a shameless parody of "Attack the Block," which mind you is a MUCH better movie.
Okay, no more stalling. Let's get started!
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#15: Battleship - This is one of those films that basically says, "You think my idea for such a film is stupid? I'll show you!" and look what we got. Now I know I said I had enjoyed this movie, but that doesn't make it any less stupid, now does it? I mean, "Transformers" was one thing, but BATTLESHIP?! And it just so happened to star Taylor Kitsch, who had starred in, not one, but TWO films that made my list. We'll get to that soon. Despite me liking the film for how bad it is, everyone can have a right to think this movie was terrible.
#14: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Quite possibly the biggest disappointment of a list of films that I was looking forward to. While I did feel that some sequences and performances were good, it just didn't hold up. And that's saying a lot, since I attended the midnight showing of this movie instead of the one for "Brave." Benjamin Walker and Dominic Cooper had good roles, but I felt the pacing was very off, making it pretty unbalanced. I haven't read the book, but I went into the film thinking, with a title like "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," I expected some cheesy fun, like "Piranha 3D." But it was just a waste of Tim Burton's production value. We'll get to Burton later.
#13: Wrath of the Titans - The sequel to the remake that no one was interested in to begin with. While at times this film did have some strong points that made it better than the first film, it still felt lacking in the execution, and much like "Battleship," it turned out to be so laughably bad, that when I saw it with my brother, he was actually thinking of buying the DVD to show people what the director's previous film was, and another reason to be afraid of the "Alien Ninja Turtles" film that's coming in 2014. Even with some good performances by Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, and RaIph Finnes, it still felt off to me.
#12: Step Up 4 - While technically not a terrible film, it makes the list for how forgettable it was, much like the other "Step Up" films. I will give it credit for the choreography and acting, but the story...just seemed pretty boring to me. If it had been more about Peter Gallagher's character and daughter, then I would have found it a more interesting movie. But for what we got, it doesn't fit.
#11: Madagascar 3 - This is another one that isn't technically bad, but doesn't work well. I do give the film props for the animation and 3D, but most of everything didn't fit. If people liked enough for it to have a 74% on Rotten Tomatoes, then that's a real problem for me. It's not like they said it was "the best animated film ever" or anything over-glorifying like that (that's for another film), so I can't complain. I just felt the film to be simply forgettable for me.
#10: Dark Shadows - Going back to Tim Burton, what the heck happened with this film? This was SUCH a very unbalanced film, because it didn't know if it was suppose to be a comedy or drama. I have seen the show before, and I can tell you for not deciding to be a parody or true respective film of the show, it just turned out to be a mess, having Jonathan Frid turning in his grave (which mind you, he and a few other stars from the original show make cameos in the film). It definitely stands as Burton's worst film since "Planet of the Apes."
#9: Mirror Mirror - Pop quiz: what do you get when you ge the director of "The Cell" and "Immortals," and have him direct a Snow White film, with Phil Collins daughter, the guy who'll play the Lone Ranger, Nathan Lane, and one of the most overrated actresses in Hollywood? You get THIS film. While the only things good in this film were Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane, and the actors playing the dwarves, it doesn't quite save the film, does it? Also, Lily Collins...PLEASE take acting lessons! Or at least trim your eyebrows! Seriously, you could make five push-brooms with those things!
#8: The Five-Year Engagement - Never would I think a wedding comedy would bore me so goddamn much. I mean, there's comedic dramas, but THIS...just seemed so UNINTERESTING! I like Jason Segal, but he really let me down on this one as both actor AND writer, so I'm hoping he improves later on. Emily Blunt...you're lucky "Looper" came out this year. The only good part about this film was seeing Allison Brie and Chris Pratt, and I really wished the film was more based on them.
#7: John Carter - I'm usually not the type who harp on films that are adaptions of books, but this is an exception for me. Based on the "Barsoom" series by Edgar Rice Burroughs I was very disappointing that they failed on this one. Sure, there are people who liked this film, but I'm not one of those people. I felt it wasn't very well paced, and it was disappointing that it had such a director like Andrew Staton on board with this film. I'm actually glad it bombed at the box office.
#6: Lockout - You know, I never thought there could be a film that bugged me as much as this film. But I know there are people will ask questions, so here are my responses: Yes, I knew the concept was dumb to begin with. Yes, Guy Pearce was pretty much playing that B-movie-esque character. And yes, I know that's what the film was suppose to be in a way: a B-movie. However, executions of it, like how this all lead up, wasn't very interesting. Most of the acting is awful certain characters are idiots, and some of the effects are very poor to me.
#5: Gone - Well, another year, another film where we have one of the most underacted people starring in a film that has no structure whatsoever. Amanda Seyfried is just such a boring person to watch on film, and this film just has NOTHING for her to do. "Gone" is quite possible her worst film and performance, and it is so friggin pointless to watch, that it's not even worth the bargain bin at the dollar store. The only thing that I actually thought Seyfried did a good job as an actress, was in the show "Big Love" and "Les Miserables," mostly because she had so many characters to work off of. Here, she's by herself most of the time, and I almost fell asleep watching it.
#4: Paranormal Activity 4 - Okay, now this one is something I have to address...this is by far the WORST found footage movie I have ever seen. Going to see this film in IMAX, for footage off an iPhone or XBox Kinect, seeing plot points that don't make any goddamn sense and dealing with characters who are very unrealistic?...Do I even NEED to say more?!
#3: 21 Jump Street - Let me just get one thing straight. I. HATE. Jonah Hill. He's not funny, original, OR a good actor. And I have to ask, was THIS film's popularity REALLY worth pushing back "G.I. Joe Retaliation?" At least I'm glad Channing Tatum has better films under his name, for all I care. Now there are three things in this film that really bugged me.
1) Like "Dark Shadows," this was based on a TV drama. However, unlike "Dark Shadows," it actually stuck to one element...however, here's the problem: it's not funny, and it gets annoying very quick. It results to the same crap that has been done to death with most comedies today.
2) I was hoping to give this film a chance, to prove that Jonah Hill could play a character that wasn't a type-cast, since he was producer AND writer for this film. And let's face it, type-casting can get old after a while, to where it gets infuriating, except for certain actors like Steve Buscemi and Bruce Campbell. But with Hill, it doesn't work, and pretty much every movie I've seen him in, he's played the same character, and that really doesn't help.
3) This film was HEAVILY acclaimed by critics, currently holding an 86% on Rotten Tomatoes...um...WHY? Please...I want to know why.
#2: Resident Evil Retribution - ...Will this series EVER die?! For being a fifth film in a series based on a not-too great game franchise, I do believe that there is no hope for films based on video games. Paul W.S. Anderson has really done it this time, and this film really shows how bad he's gotten. The performances are just awful the story has gone from stupid to absolute ludicrousness and the attempts of tying to the games are just annoying! Milla Jovovich has cemented herself, playing a character that has no development, other than everything happening just comes out of her husband's perverted stupidity. Come on, even Michael Bay isn't this stupid! It's a terrible sequel, it has terrible stories, terrible characters, I hope this is finally the end of the entire "Resident Evil" franchise, and it showcases AGAIN why "Silent Hill" has had better luck with their games AND films.
#1: Prometheus - Or as people have been calling it, "The most overrated film released this year!" This is honestly a film where I felt the recommendation was like getting tricked in a game of Paintball Assassin This is a film that after I saw it, I felt so angry about, AND people who over-glorify it. The acting is mediocre, the story so underdeveloped, the characters are idiots, the logic and science of it are infuriating as well. It doesn't answer questions, if they do a sequel, and sequel-begging doesn't work if the film is terrible.
Okay....now that that's over, time to move on with the good stuff.
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